Hello
Photo by R Mo on Unsplash
Writing at this moment feels surreal (especially when I'm using my first ever mechanical keyboard, oh yeaaah~~). So many things have happened since 2021 started and yet, I can't seem to find the words to tell them. Probably because I was struggling internally?? I mean, feeling lost I guess? How I should approach blogging now that I'm an adult? It's really difficult now than when I first started back in 2009. The rawness of my post. The unfiltered rants. And stories of random happenings in my life back then. I don't know why I can't seem to tell them now. Maybe because I'm more conscious now? Maybe due to how the Internet is also different from the past? How it's scary now to share things because it might be used against you? So many reasons.... but I think.. they're more of an excuses I make to appease my guilt of procrastinating (but they're also valid too, right?? hehe)

Anyhoo, for now, I just want to say a few updates from my life for the past 6 months:

  • I can now drive alone!!! I thought I can't do it but well, I like to surprise myself that I can do it hehe.
  • I got vaccinated! But will, of course, still wear face mask. 
  • I guess, my fangirling has taken to a new heights. I mean, I didn't realize I'll be meeting mutuals? and being active reacting on certain dramas... I mean.. the interactions I made were kinda unbelievable for me? I was more of a silent fan. Tweeting my reactions but not necessarily... interacting.. but now.. hahahha well, it is somehow a good thing. Haha because it made the experience of fangirling more enjoyable hehe.
That's it for now, I hope I could write again and be more active. Hehe. Goodnight, my friend! ^^
goodnight


Life, Lately: Hello

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

, ,

 

Hello
Photo by R Mo on Unsplash
Writing at this moment feels surreal (especially when I'm using my first ever mechanical keyboard, oh yeaaah~~). So many things have happened since 2021 started and yet, I can't seem to find the words to tell them. Probably because I was struggling internally?? I mean, feeling lost I guess? How I should approach blogging now that I'm an adult? It's really difficult now than when I first started back in 2009. The rawness of my post. The unfiltered rants. And stories of random happenings in my life back then. I don't know why I can't seem to tell them now. Maybe because I'm more conscious now? Maybe due to how the Internet is also different from the past? How it's scary now to share things because it might be used against you? So many reasons.... but I think.. they're more of an excuses I make to appease my guilt of procrastinating (but they're also valid too, right?? hehe)

Anyhoo, for now, I just want to say a few updates from my life for the past 6 months:

  • I can now drive alone!!! I thought I can't do it but well, I like to surprise myself that I can do it hehe.
  • I got vaccinated! But will, of course, still wear face mask. 
  • I guess, my fangirling has taken to a new heights. I mean, I didn't realize I'll be meeting mutuals? and being active reacting on certain dramas... I mean.. the interactions I made were kinda unbelievable for me? I was more of a silent fan. Tweeting my reactions but not necessarily... interacting.. but now.. hahahha well, it is somehow a good thing. Haha because it made the experience of fangirling more enjoyable hehe.
That's it for now, I hope I could write again and be more active. Hehe. Goodnight, my friend! ^^
goodnight


 

flowers for you

20 things I'm thankful for the year that was 2020:

  1. I end the year still healthy and COVID-19 free (same with my loved ones).
  2. I still have a job that provides for my needs and wants and being able to still contribute to the family.
  3. Had a chance to expose myself to a community of fellow Filipinos who were financially literate and because of this, it helped expand the existing knowledge I have to growing my income and investments.
  4. In relation to #3, I was able to open my first investment (aside from savings in a traditional bank).
  5. A blessing was given which helped me pay for the remaining dues in our car.
  6. I met new friends through games and in the reddit/discord group.
  7. My family may not be able to travel out of the country as planned as it was cancelled, we were able to use the refund to have our dream to go back to our house realized.
  8. My cousin was able to finally opened her shop in our grandparent's place (more meryendas!! and exposure to milk teas uwu)
  9. Pulled myself to make my first ever coffee jelly (one of my favorite desserts).
  10. Finally come up with a [slight] original blog title for this passion project of mine. I hope I could expound more about it in the coming days.
  11. Having Maki (my black shih tzu) as our new addition to the family. 🐶
  12. Despite having been miles apart and some fights, our relationship (me and Engr's) still survived 2020.
  13. And I'm really thankful that finance is not a taboo topic in our relationship, that's why I'm thankful to have him as a finance buddy (he's not aware about his new title but yeah hahaha). Talking about our possible investment, teaching about strategies in stock market (mostly him teaching me Technical Analysis), and reminding one another to be thrifty as possible (but well still ended up spending a lot hahaha but for necessary things naman!😅)
  14. I'm with my family during the pandemic. If I was alone, I may have survive but my mental health would really take a toll (to anyone who's alone right now in dealing this pandemic, I hope you know that you'll be in my prayers, to ask for the guidance, peace and protection you all be needing. Let's get this through <3 ).
  15. Wonderful shows and movies made available in Netflix that somehow compensate to the lack of social interactions. Hehe 
  16. When online transaction became the normal, and thankfully made life easier. Bye long lines in ATM! in Banks!
  17. Finally applied for a non-professional driver's license!! Woot. Although I'm still driving with my mother by my side because I'm still not that yet confident to be left alone in a car. hehe. Need more practice and confidence. 
  18. Learning more about how to navigate and make the most out of MS Excel/ Google Spreadsheets. It is such a wonderful application. hehe
  19. Although I've been procrastinating, still thankful I was accepted for a scholarship in DOST's program: Project Sparta. This project would teach you about Data Science although it may be different in terms of the pathway you'll choose (I chose the Data Analyst hehe).
  20. Lastly.. the new lessons I've learned this year especially about Financial Independence. Although I'm still far from it, I'm striving to achieve it thanks to the resources I've come to find and encountered during the quarantine.

2020 may have been rough, but somehow finding some silver linings or bright spots in this dark year made it quite worth it? This year really tested my outlooks in life, what I need to strive to improve on, the things I need to stop doing because I realized it's  not doing me any good, and made me realize those people and some things that are important to me and needed to be cherished more.

Despite mostly the downs, thank you 2020 for a really unforgettable year. Here's to a hopeful 2021!

Thank You, 2020

Thursday, December 31, 2020

,

 

flowers for you

20 things I'm thankful for the year that was 2020:

  1. I end the year still healthy and COVID-19 free (same with my loved ones).
  2. I still have a job that provides for my needs and wants and being able to still contribute to the family.
  3. Had a chance to expose myself to a community of fellow Filipinos who were financially literate and because of this, it helped expand the existing knowledge I have to growing my income and investments.
  4. In relation to #3, I was able to open my first investment (aside from savings in a traditional bank).
  5. A blessing was given which helped me pay for the remaining dues in our car.
  6. I met new friends through games and in the reddit/discord group.
  7. My family may not be able to travel out of the country as planned as it was cancelled, we were able to use the refund to have our dream to go back to our house realized.
  8. My cousin was able to finally opened her shop in our grandparent's place (more meryendas!! and exposure to milk teas uwu)
  9. Pulled myself to make my first ever coffee jelly (one of my favorite desserts).
  10. Finally come up with a [slight] original blog title for this passion project of mine. I hope I could expound more about it in the coming days.
  11. Having Maki (my black shih tzu) as our new addition to the family. 🐶
  12. Despite having been miles apart and some fights, our relationship (me and Engr's) still survived 2020.
  13. And I'm really thankful that finance is not a taboo topic in our relationship, that's why I'm thankful to have him as a finance buddy (he's not aware about his new title but yeah hahaha). Talking about our possible investment, teaching about strategies in stock market (mostly him teaching me Technical Analysis), and reminding one another to be thrifty as possible (but well still ended up spending a lot hahaha but for necessary things naman!😅)
  14. I'm with my family during the pandemic. If I was alone, I may have survive but my mental health would really take a toll (to anyone who's alone right now in dealing this pandemic, I hope you know that you'll be in my prayers, to ask for the guidance, peace and protection you all be needing. Let's get this through <3 ).
  15. Wonderful shows and movies made available in Netflix that somehow compensate to the lack of social interactions. Hehe 
  16. When online transaction became the normal, and thankfully made life easier. Bye long lines in ATM! in Banks!
  17. Finally applied for a non-professional driver's license!! Woot. Although I'm still driving with my mother by my side because I'm still not that yet confident to be left alone in a car. hehe. Need more practice and confidence. 
  18. Learning more about how to navigate and make the most out of MS Excel/ Google Spreadsheets. It is such a wonderful application. hehe
  19. Although I've been procrastinating, still thankful I was accepted for a scholarship in DOST's program: Project Sparta. This project would teach you about Data Science although it may be different in terms of the pathway you'll choose (I chose the Data Analyst hehe).
  20. Lastly.. the new lessons I've learned this year especially about Financial Independence. Although I'm still far from it, I'm striving to achieve it thanks to the resources I've come to find and encountered during the quarantine.

2020 may have been rough, but somehow finding some silver linings or bright spots in this dark year made it quite worth it? This year really tested my outlooks in life, what I need to strive to improve on, the things I need to stop doing because I realized it's  not doing me any good, and made me realize those people and some things that are important to me and needed to be cherished more.

Despite mostly the downs, thank you 2020 for a really unforgettable year. Here's to a hopeful 2021!

What felt like a year, January has finally ended and I really did breathed a sigh of relief. So much has happened with the world and so was in my head. And I congratulate myself (and you!) for surviving the first month of the new decade. Wews!!

Entering the new year, I always have this energized feeling like yeah! lezzgo guys! kind of vibe. The vibe that motivates you to start on a new project, and I don't know, just really motivated. But as time went by, and the new year motivation kind of wears off, I went back to my usual self, the unmotivated one; the one who questions my life's purpose, on what needs to be done but was unmotivated to start on something, and the one who's lost and frustrated at the same time. It didn't help that I lacked sleep the whole month. The struggle was real!!



But what can I do? Life doesn't stop for anybody especially mine. So with little, (struggling) steps, I did my best to somehow push the things I need to do;

  • At the end of the month, I deactivated my FB account, erased my Instagram and Twitter apps, and just settle first with myself (but I failed after 2 days with Twitter because I opened it hehehe to e updated with the nCov).
  •  I was able to finish my driving lessons for 15 hours!! Huhu. After two expired student permits and a new one, I was able to learn the basics of driving (thank you 3M driving school! my driving teachers for their patience! huhu). 
  • Also, being able to come to work so early was somehow fulfilling. That 5-10 morning walk somehow helped me reflect on myself and appreciated the things around me.
Though in between those small victories, I can't seem to organize my cluttered mind, the same way I wasn't able to take care of my room. It became a reflection of what's going on with my life and it's really hard. Because of this, it somehow affected my mood and how I respond to people close to me. I would be too clingy with my boyfriend (kahit LDR), and would be mad at him for petty things. The same way I became a brat at home. I'm ashamed but sometimes, I'm too prideful to admit.

 But then, reminding myself that I'm not perfect and I would make some mistakes kind of helped alleviate the burden. I'm entering February with hopes that I could continue what I did good in January and let go of the things that hold me back to be a better person. Sana sana...


Pictures taken when I'm really early for work and was able to stop by and took a picture of the fields I always pass by. Used the Dazz Camera App in my phone (I think if I remember correctly it's their D Exp camera).

January Ender

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

, ,
What felt like a year, January has finally ended and I really did breathed a sigh of relief. So much has happened with the world and so was in my head. And I congratulate myself (and you!) for surviving the first month of the new decade. Wews!!

Entering the new year, I always have this energized feeling like yeah! lezzgo guys! kind of vibe. The vibe that motivates you to start on a new project, and I don't know, just really motivated. But as time went by, and the new year motivation kind of wears off, I went back to my usual self, the unmotivated one; the one who questions my life's purpose, on what needs to be done but was unmotivated to start on something, and the one who's lost and frustrated at the same time. It didn't help that I lacked sleep the whole month. The struggle was real!!



But what can I do? Life doesn't stop for anybody especially mine. So with little, (struggling) steps, I did my best to somehow push the things I need to do;

  • At the end of the month, I deactivated my FB account, erased my Instagram and Twitter apps, and just settle first with myself (but I failed after 2 days with Twitter because I opened it hehehe to e updated with the nCov).
  •  I was able to finish my driving lessons for 15 hours!! Huhu. After two expired student permits and a new one, I was able to learn the basics of driving (thank you 3M driving school! my driving teachers for their patience! huhu). 
  • Also, being able to come to work so early was somehow fulfilling. That 5-10 morning walk somehow helped me reflect on myself and appreciated the things around me.
Though in between those small victories, I can't seem to organize my cluttered mind, the same way I wasn't able to take care of my room. It became a reflection of what's going on with my life and it's really hard. Because of this, it somehow affected my mood and how I respond to people close to me. I would be too clingy with my boyfriend (kahit LDR), and would be mad at him for petty things. The same way I became a brat at home. I'm ashamed but sometimes, I'm too prideful to admit.

 But then, reminding myself that I'm not perfect and I would make some mistakes kind of helped alleviate the burden. I'm entering February with hopes that I could continue what I did good in January and let go of the things that hold me back to be a better person. Sana sana...


Pictures taken when I'm really early for work and was able to stop by and took a picture of the fields I always pass by. Used the Dazz Camera App in my phone (I think if I remember correctly it's their D Exp camera).
c a l m n e s s

Heyyo! Another decade has ended, and we're starting a new one. Time sure flies so fast, KKLK!

Looking back, 2010s was the year when I've experienced some of my really unforgettable memories which have shaped me into who I am today. Here are some of those memories that made an impact on my life..

Last Year in my High School Life (2010-2011)
I'm just really glad I enjoyed my Senior Year, all its ups and downs. I mean, hello:
  • College entrance exams? That UST dream na hindi ko na naachieve.
  • Being soooooo active in Facebook to the point I participated in that Fieldtrip movement that caused me to be sent in one of the admin's office just to lecture me about that post. Char. Ii still remember his nickname I gave, Mammoth. HAHAHA.Though I am still bitter about our last fieldtrip not being as unique as it was from the previous years. Char. Feeling ko kasi noon tinipid yung batch namin. Char.
  • That Crazy Little Thing Called Love Thai Movie craze we had. I mean watching it for I don't know how many times. Minsan sa classroom pa namin haha! 
  • And when I'm really using my skills to earn some money. Honestly, I have no idea how I started this but at some point, I'm just doing someone's project/homework (mostly book reports and that crafty thingy) then they will pay me. Ngayon ko lang narealize na ang dami kong time gumawa ng project ng iba kklk! Sadly, may ibang di pa nakakabayad, haha (found one of my FB status calling a classmate about that HAHAHA shet).
Fruit of my labor: the dress I bought in Jewels 

  • And also, who wouldn't forget about the craziness we did on the latter part of our senior year? Especially that time we should be practicing for our graduation, or doing some reflection.
Eyyy. We did this even before Harlem Shake was a thing. Eyyy.

College Years (2011-2015)
Almost half of the decade was spent in my college years, and in those years, maraming ganap na di ko malilimutan, college related man or personal. Hehe.
  • Reconnected with an ex. Hahaha. Unang una talaga e no pero kasiii... It happened on my first year in college kasi!!! The thing is.. we didn't really uhm, nagkabalikan. We just met again, some interaction but that's it. This was memorable for me because it was at that time I realized I should really move on from what we had before. Ika nga, "there are plenty more fish in the sea." CHAROT hehe
  • My mother was back from abroad! Honestly, there was some kind of adjustment from me but it's not the same adjustment I did when Daddy went home (mas mahirap na adjustment yun which honestly, hindi ko magawa even until he left us).
  • My lola died during this time. :(
  • But then, Bhobbie and Bullette came, and they were wonderful addition to the family.
  • I won't forget my third year of being a Pharmacy student. Luh the major subjects. Coffee became my bestfriend. Wews.
  • That was also the time I became active in doing some extracurricular activities, aka being an officer. I enjoyed those times and appreciated the experience of being an officer despite the stress it gave me.
  • Also, for some reason, my faith with the Lord was tested? renewed? changed? more aware? It's kind of ironic because I went to a Catholic school from nursery to highschool but it was only at this stage when I truly appreciated God and for some reason, more aware of Him. Dahil hirap nung college? Impluwensya ng mga Christian kong friends? I don't know. But I'm thankful.
  • It was at this time nung nagpeak yung interest ko sa korean dramas. Maybe because I'm really stressed with school works so I need to watch at least one episode per day kahit may quiz kinabukasan HAHA.
  • This was also the time I got to be more aware of my feelings or how my mind works. Siguro dahil sa kakaoverthink kaya ganon. (See my Tumblr blog esp my posts in the years 2013-2015). I mean, mas may kontrol compared nung high school.
  • The crushes, and the almosts. Syempre ganon talaga hindi meant ehh hehe. But they're part of the reason why I matured. Ganun ata talaga pag nahaheart broken ganon, tumitibay. Charooot Haha. Pero ayun na nga, mga naging inspiration kong pumasok noon pero eventually nag expire din kasi Tadhana said na hindi pa muna. I'm not ready pa raw chor.
  • I'll add to this part of my life when I successfully graduated, and passed the Pharmacy Licensure Exam (despite the slight depression). 
Work Life (2015 to Present)
  • I chose to be in the manufacturing field of the Pharmacy industry because I'm not really good in the community or even in hospitals. Tsaka may holidays kasi sa manuf HAHAHA
  • From being a contractual to being one of the employees laid off to my current work for almost 4 years. Honestly, I'm still not sure if I'm taking the right path, I'm just going wherever this may go. I mean, if there's an opportunity to grow, I'm just gonna take it. 
  • Also, during my first year of working,  naging avid fan ako ng AlDub. KALOKA hahaha! I even went to their Tamang Panahon held in the Philippine Arena (well, malapit kasi samin that's the first reason hahaha).
  • This was also the time I met some of my precious friends (of course aside from my friends in college). My fauwks (who I met through our shared interest with Song Joongki/AlDub/even kpop! Hihi), bajao friends (friends I've worked with in my first job hihi) and team ppg (in my current job though ako n alang yung natira hahaha nagsilayasan na sila sa company e char)
  • And siguro dahil may pangtustos na ako sa sarili ko kaya I got to have a chance to explore the world outside my comfort zone with all these galas with my friends and family. I could buy the things na gusto ko. Yung makapanuod sa sinehan. those impulsive purchases na minsan pagsisisihan hehe.
Love Life through the Decade
 Well yes mga friends, kasama to sa highlights. Hahaha. I started the decade as a single lady back in high school. And I ended the decade with a boyfriend woot. As in legit. Hindi patago. Legal. Hihi. LDR kami ngayon because he's currently in Japan working. I know it'll be tough but I'm praying for the both of us na kayanin. I know kakayanin namin. Tiwala lang talaga <3 
How we spent the new year. From Japan and the Philippines, Happy New Year <3

Me through the Decade
I always believed that change is the only constant thing in this world. Despite believing in it, I'm scared for the changes that is happening. Most of the time, I can't bring myself to be ready for them. Well, I pretend to be (Fake it till you make it, applies here naman?) pero I'm scared. But you know, kailan nga ba tayo magiging ready kundi ngayon diba? Char.

I'm still growing as a person (well not literally haha). My beliefs and views in life may change as time goes by, but I will always be the same girl who likes to spend time scrolling through my feeds, playing with my dog, dreaming of the future with the bf, watching Kdramas/movies and still overthinking everything around her.

So now, I'll be entering the new decade like everyone else. I only wish for this year to be fruitful and memorable. I'll be focusing more on myself and the things I want to achieve.

Happy New Year everyone! May God bless us all.

Love lang hihi,
From Me to Yours, I'm wishing and praying for a prosperous year to all of us. Happy New Year! <3

2010s: What A Decade It Has Been

Thursday, January 2, 2020

, ,
c a l m n e s s

Heyyo! Another decade has ended, and we're starting a new one. Time sure flies so fast, KKLK!

Looking back, 2010s was the year when I've experienced some of my really unforgettable memories which have shaped me into who I am today. Here are some of those memories that made an impact on my life..

Last Year in my High School Life (2010-2011)
I'm just really glad I enjoyed my Senior Year, all its ups and downs. I mean, hello:
  • College entrance exams? That UST dream na hindi ko na naachieve.
  • Being soooooo active in Facebook to the point I participated in that Fieldtrip movement that caused me to be sent in one of the admin's office just to lecture me about that post. Char. Ii still remember his nickname I gave, Mammoth. HAHAHA.Though I am still bitter about our last fieldtrip not being as unique as it was from the previous years. Char. Feeling ko kasi noon tinipid yung batch namin. Char.
  • That Crazy Little Thing Called Love Thai Movie craze we had. I mean watching it for I don't know how many times. Minsan sa classroom pa namin haha! 
  • And when I'm really using my skills to earn some money. Honestly, I have no idea how I started this but at some point, I'm just doing someone's project/homework (mostly book reports and that crafty thingy) then they will pay me. Ngayon ko lang narealize na ang dami kong time gumawa ng project ng iba kklk! Sadly, may ibang di pa nakakabayad, haha (found one of my FB status calling a classmate about that HAHAHA shet).
Fruit of my labor: the dress I bought in Jewels 

  • And also, who wouldn't forget about the craziness we did on the latter part of our senior year? Especially that time we should be practicing for our graduation, or doing some reflection.
Eyyy. We did this even before Harlem Shake was a thing. Eyyy.

College Years (2011-2015)
Almost half of the decade was spent in my college years, and in those years, maraming ganap na di ko malilimutan, college related man or personal. Hehe.
  • Reconnected with an ex. Hahaha. Unang una talaga e no pero kasiii... It happened on my first year in college kasi!!! The thing is.. we didn't really uhm, nagkabalikan. We just met again, some interaction but that's it. This was memorable for me because it was at that time I realized I should really move on from what we had before. Ika nga, "there are plenty more fish in the sea." CHAROT hehe
  • My mother was back from abroad! Honestly, there was some kind of adjustment from me but it's not the same adjustment I did when Daddy went home (mas mahirap na adjustment yun which honestly, hindi ko magawa even until he left us).
  • My lola died during this time. :(
  • But then, Bhobbie and Bullette came, and they were wonderful addition to the family.
  • I won't forget my third year of being a Pharmacy student. Luh the major subjects. Coffee became my bestfriend. Wews.
  • That was also the time I became active in doing some extracurricular activities, aka being an officer. I enjoyed those times and appreciated the experience of being an officer despite the stress it gave me.
  • Also, for some reason, my faith with the Lord was tested? renewed? changed? more aware? It's kind of ironic because I went to a Catholic school from nursery to highschool but it was only at this stage when I truly appreciated God and for some reason, more aware of Him. Dahil hirap nung college? Impluwensya ng mga Christian kong friends? I don't know. But I'm thankful.
  • It was at this time nung nagpeak yung interest ko sa korean dramas. Maybe because I'm really stressed with school works so I need to watch at least one episode per day kahit may quiz kinabukasan HAHA.
  • This was also the time I got to be more aware of my feelings or how my mind works. Siguro dahil sa kakaoverthink kaya ganon. (See my Tumblr blog esp my posts in the years 2013-2015). I mean, mas may kontrol compared nung high school.
  • The crushes, and the almosts. Syempre ganon talaga hindi meant ehh hehe. But they're part of the reason why I matured. Ganun ata talaga pag nahaheart broken ganon, tumitibay. Charooot Haha. Pero ayun na nga, mga naging inspiration kong pumasok noon pero eventually nag expire din kasi Tadhana said na hindi pa muna. I'm not ready pa raw chor.
  • I'll add to this part of my life when I successfully graduated, and passed the Pharmacy Licensure Exam (despite the slight depression). 
Work Life (2015 to Present)
  • I chose to be in the manufacturing field of the Pharmacy industry because I'm not really good in the community or even in hospitals. Tsaka may holidays kasi sa manuf HAHAHA
  • From being a contractual to being one of the employees laid off to my current work for almost 4 years. Honestly, I'm still not sure if I'm taking the right path, I'm just going wherever this may go. I mean, if there's an opportunity to grow, I'm just gonna take it. 
  • Also, during my first year of working,  naging avid fan ako ng AlDub. KALOKA hahaha! I even went to their Tamang Panahon held in the Philippine Arena (well, malapit kasi samin that's the first reason hahaha).
  • This was also the time I met some of my precious friends (of course aside from my friends in college). My fauwks (who I met through our shared interest with Song Joongki/AlDub/even kpop! Hihi), bajao friends (friends I've worked with in my first job hihi) and team ppg (in my current job though ako n alang yung natira hahaha nagsilayasan na sila sa company e char)
  • And siguro dahil may pangtustos na ako sa sarili ko kaya I got to have a chance to explore the world outside my comfort zone with all these galas with my friends and family. I could buy the things na gusto ko. Yung makapanuod sa sinehan. those impulsive purchases na minsan pagsisisihan hehe.
Love Life through the Decade
 Well yes mga friends, kasama to sa highlights. Hahaha. I started the decade as a single lady back in high school. And I ended the decade with a boyfriend woot. As in legit. Hindi patago. Legal. Hihi. LDR kami ngayon because he's currently in Japan working. I know it'll be tough but I'm praying for the both of us na kayanin. I know kakayanin namin. Tiwala lang talaga <3 
How we spent the new year. From Japan and the Philippines, Happy New Year <3

Me through the Decade
I always believed that change is the only constant thing in this world. Despite believing in it, I'm scared for the changes that is happening. Most of the time, I can't bring myself to be ready for them. Well, I pretend to be (Fake it till you make it, applies here naman?) pero I'm scared. But you know, kailan nga ba tayo magiging ready kundi ngayon diba? Char.

I'm still growing as a person (well not literally haha). My beliefs and views in life may change as time goes by, but I will always be the same girl who likes to spend time scrolling through my feeds, playing with my dog, dreaming of the future with the bf, watching Kdramas/movies and still overthinking everything around her.

So now, I'll be entering the new decade like everyone else. I only wish for this year to be fruitful and memorable. I'll be focusing more on myself and the things I want to achieve.

Happy New Year everyone! May God bless us all.

Love lang hihi,
From Me to Yours, I'm wishing and praying for a prosperous year to all of us. Happy New Year! <3


... that He moves in mysterious ways to make you feel that He’s there with you and will not leave you during your dark days (and good days din naman).
I’m in my depressive state today.
I fought with Engr because of a really simple thing (mababaw lang sya talaga pero ewan di ko pinalagpas and I made it really into a big deal). Then enters existential crisis (of all days). It was just messy in my head. All I want at that moment was to run away, to have some peace of mind. Because of that, I cleaned our house (the things you do just to clear your head wew kahit ang init init nung mga oras na yon pero keribels, nageemote ang lola nyo). But somehow it didn’t do much help. My head was still messy. I tried sleeping. But nope...
On the other hand, when Camela shared that she visited my blog, I remarked how it’s still haven’t found its identity. And that’s when I shared my existential crisis which happened after I read this:


From how I’m afraid to take risks to how negativity has ruled my life right now. I even told her how I cheered on her, that positivity is the key when in reality I’m the opposite of what I’m preaching.
Actually, I’m talking to them simultaneously kaya mejo doble yung epekto nung mga realizations ko ngayon:
  • That I’m wrong on how I handle my emotions and actions which caused me to hurt him ng wala sa lugar.
  • That I’m too afraid, too negative that’s why I can’t take risks to do the things I wanted.
  • That I can take just one small step and I could tick off one by one the things on my list.
  • That it’s better to just do it than end up regretting for the what-ifs.
The biggest one was realizing how God listens to my cries. That He’ll find a way to make sure I will know that He’s there. It started when Engr shared two bible verses that is better than other quotes out there (na mas okay pa nga ang bible verses, mas inspirational):
  1. 2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
  2. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
But what really hit me and made me really cried hard was when he shared a link to Our Daily Bread.
“Each one should test their own actions” Galatians 6:4
That’s the verse that I’ve read. And the reflection just... wow. It felt like God’s the one who wrote it just for me especially the ending part:
What talents, spiritual gifts, and blessings has God given you that you’ve forgotten to appreciate? Reflecting on them, how does your heart feel as you return to God? 
Boom. Feels. Open the floodgates. T^T. 
What’s unusual was that, this reflection that I’ve read wasn’t really dedicated for June 22 but for June 21. I don’t know how to explain without me sounding like I’m inventing stories, but that’s what really happened. It seems that God is telling me something and I should listen to Him seriously.
Engr and Camela seems to be God’s instruments to deliver what He would probably tell to me personally. And I thanked them for understanding me and for being patient. Most importantly, God. He stayed when I needed. He hear me and listened to em. And I’m blessed.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I won’t forget this night.
It was fruitful even though I have to cry so much to the point na nagbabara na ilong ko dahil sa sipon haha.
I’m still learning. 
I will still make mistakes, but I hope they won’t give up on me, He won’t give up on me yet.
As they say, our lives are a work in progress. Little progress is still progress diba? Hehe.

:)

Tonight, I Realized..

Sunday, June 23, 2019

,

... that He moves in mysterious ways to make you feel that He’s there with you and will not leave you during your dark days (and good days din naman).
I’m in my depressive state today.
I fought with Engr because of a really simple thing (mababaw lang sya talaga pero ewan di ko pinalagpas and I made it really into a big deal). Then enters existential crisis (of all days). It was just messy in my head. All I want at that moment was to run away, to have some peace of mind. Because of that, I cleaned our house (the things you do just to clear your head wew kahit ang init init nung mga oras na yon pero keribels, nageemote ang lola nyo). But somehow it didn’t do much help. My head was still messy. I tried sleeping. But nope...
On the other hand, when Camela shared that she visited my blog, I remarked how it’s still haven’t found its identity. And that’s when I shared my existential crisis which happened after I read this:


From how I’m afraid to take risks to how negativity has ruled my life right now. I even told her how I cheered on her, that positivity is the key when in reality I’m the opposite of what I’m preaching.
Actually, I’m talking to them simultaneously kaya mejo doble yung epekto nung mga realizations ko ngayon:
  • That I’m wrong on how I handle my emotions and actions which caused me to hurt him ng wala sa lugar.
  • That I’m too afraid, too negative that’s why I can’t take risks to do the things I wanted.
  • That I can take just one small step and I could tick off one by one the things on my list.
  • That it’s better to just do it than end up regretting for the what-ifs.
The biggest one was realizing how God listens to my cries. That He’ll find a way to make sure I will know that He’s there. It started when Engr shared two bible verses that is better than other quotes out there (na mas okay pa nga ang bible verses, mas inspirational):
  1. 2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
  2. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
But what really hit me and made me really cried hard was when he shared a link to Our Daily Bread.
“Each one should test their own actions” Galatians 6:4
That’s the verse that I’ve read. And the reflection just... wow. It felt like God’s the one who wrote it just for me especially the ending part:
What talents, spiritual gifts, and blessings has God given you that you’ve forgotten to appreciate? Reflecting on them, how does your heart feel as you return to God? 
Boom. Feels. Open the floodgates. T^T. 
What’s unusual was that, this reflection that I’ve read wasn’t really dedicated for June 22 but for June 21. I don’t know how to explain without me sounding like I’m inventing stories, but that’s what really happened. It seems that God is telling me something and I should listen to Him seriously.
Engr and Camela seems to be God’s instruments to deliver what He would probably tell to me personally. And I thanked them for understanding me and for being patient. Most importantly, God. He stayed when I needed. He hear me and listened to em. And I’m blessed.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I won’t forget this night.
It was fruitful even though I have to cry so much to the point na nagbabara na ilong ko dahil sa sipon haha.
I’m still learning. 
I will still make mistakes, but I hope they won’t give up on me, He won’t give up on me yet.
As they say, our lives are a work in progress. Little progress is still progress diba? Hehe.

:)
By Katarzyna Grabowska


Is this Confession Wednesday? Why do I feel like opening up about myself on this day? Oh well, maybe the stars aligned and blessed me this courage to be myself today (like I needed to be me when I’m already me. Char).
This will be reaally random stuff: just everything and anything I could think of sharing as of the moment. Take note, I’m writing this at 11:33 P.M. So I hope you’ll understand that what I’m going to share are not cohesive and just really, really random stuff related to my life. So yeah.
I think it’s better if I write them in bullet form, right? Yeah, maybe it’s better. Yep I’m [mind]talking while writing and I don’t know if I’m making sense but let’s get it on! Hehe

  • I have so many plans. Soooo many. I want to study for Masters. I want to invest in stocks, in business, in real estate. Akala mo naman ang dami kong pera to afford char. But it’s true. I really want to do them but well, limited financials and I can’t make up my kind what I should prioritize among them. 
  • I should update this blog more often. All those ideas wasted meant a lot of opportunities to grow and improve in this field just fly out of the window. But of course, it’s never too late to start right? But I need to give time for this like reeeeeeeeaaaaalllyyyyy neeed.
  • I confessed to my girl friends about some issues I have with myself that affected my friendship with them. It felt liberating but I feel bad for feeling that way towards them when they do no harm. I really need to be a good and true friend if I really want this to last.
  • I need to start, with anything, for example this article I’m writing. If I want to make this blog look more alive, I need to make time for it and I should not wait for the ideas to materialize with itself. I should take upon me to expand that idea into something I could be proud of.
  • It’s weird to be scolding yourself for the lack of action in my life. It sucks because I’m aware of my failings and it seems I’m not trying hard enough to correct them and to work hard. Ugh why am I like this? It’s frustrating.
  • I have so much more to tell but I’m getting sleepy and it’s gettong really late. I still have work tomorrow.
  • So yeah.
Goodnight everyone! 😊

*Insert All The Feels I Have Tonight*

Saturday, June 22, 2019

,
By Katarzyna Grabowska


Is this Confession Wednesday? Why do I feel like opening up about myself on this day? Oh well, maybe the stars aligned and blessed me this courage to be myself today (like I needed to be me when I’m already me. Char).
This will be reaally random stuff: just everything and anything I could think of sharing as of the moment. Take note, I’m writing this at 11:33 P.M. So I hope you’ll understand that what I’m going to share are not cohesive and just really, really random stuff related to my life. So yeah.
I think it’s better if I write them in bullet form, right? Yeah, maybe it’s better. Yep I’m [mind]talking while writing and I don’t know if I’m making sense but let’s get it on! Hehe

  • I have so many plans. Soooo many. I want to study for Masters. I want to invest in stocks, in business, in real estate. Akala mo naman ang dami kong pera to afford char. But it’s true. I really want to do them but well, limited financials and I can’t make up my kind what I should prioritize among them. 
  • I should update this blog more often. All those ideas wasted meant a lot of opportunities to grow and improve in this field just fly out of the window. But of course, it’s never too late to start right? But I need to give time for this like reeeeeeeeaaaaalllyyyyy neeed.
  • I confessed to my girl friends about some issues I have with myself that affected my friendship with them. It felt liberating but I feel bad for feeling that way towards them when they do no harm. I really need to be a good and true friend if I really want this to last.
  • I need to start, with anything, for example this article I’m writing. If I want to make this blog look more alive, I need to make time for it and I should not wait for the ideas to materialize with itself. I should take upon me to expand that idea into something I could be proud of.
  • It’s weird to be scolding yourself for the lack of action in my life. It sucks because I’m aware of my failings and it seems I’m not trying hard enough to correct them and to work hard. Ugh why am I like this? It’s frustrating.
  • I have so much more to tell but I’m getting sleepy and it’s gettong really late. I still have work tomorrow.
  • So yeah.
Goodnight everyone! 😊
Selah Morii