January Ender

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

What felt like a year, January has finally ended and I really did breathed a sigh of relief. So much has happened with the world and so was in my head. And I congratulate myself (and you!) for surviving the first month of the new decade. Wews!!

Entering the new year, I always have this energized feeling like yeah! lezzgo guys! kind of vibe. The vibe that motivates you to start on a new project, and I don't know, just really motivated. But as time went by, and the new year motivation kind of wears off, I went back to my usual self, the unmotivated one; the one who questions my life's purpose, on what needs to be done but was unmotivated to start on something, and the one who's lost and frustrated at the same time. It didn't help that I lacked sleep the whole month. The struggle was real!!

But what can I do? Life doesn't stop for anybody especially mine. So with little, (struggling) steps, I did my best to somehow push the things I need to do;

  • At the end of the month, I deactivated my FB account, erased my Instagram and Twitter apps, and just settle first with myself (but I failed after 2 days with Twitter because I opened it hehehe to e updated with the nCov).
  •  I was able to finish my driving lessons for 15 hours!! Huhu. After two expired student permits and a new one, I was able to learn the basics of driving (thank you 3M driving school! my driving teachers for their patience! huhu). 
  • Also, being able to come to work so early was somehow fulfilling. That 5-10 morning walk somehow helped me reflect on myself and appreciated the things around me.
Though in between those small victories, I can't seem to organize my cluttered mind, the same way I wasn't able to take care of my room. It became a reflection of what's going on with my life and it's really hard. Because of this, it somehow affected my mood and how I respond to people close to me. I would be too clingy with my boyfriend (kahit LDR), and would be mad at him for petty things. The same way I became a brat at home. I'm ashamed but sometimes, I'm too prideful to admit.

 But then, reminding myself that I'm not perfect and I would make some mistakes kind of helped alleviate the burden. I'm entering February with hopes that I could continue what I did good in January and let go of the things that hold me back to be a better person. Sana sana...

Pictures taken when I'm really early for work and was able to stop by and took a picture of the fields I always pass by. Used the Dazz Camera App in my phone (I think if I remember correctly it's their D Exp camera).

2010s: What A Decade It Has Been

Thursday, January 2, 2020

c a l m n e s s

Heyyo! Another decade has ended, and we're starting a new one. Time sure flies so fast, KKLK!

Looking back, 2010s was the year when I've experienced some of my really unforgettable memories which have shaped me into who I am today. Here are some of those memories that made an impact on my life..

Last Year in my High School Life (2010-2011)
I'm just really glad I enjoyed my Senior Year, all its ups and downs. I mean, hello:
  • College entrance exams? That UST dream na hindi ko na naachieve.
  • Being soooooo active in Facebook to the point I participated in that Fieldtrip movement that caused me to be sent in one of the admin's office just to lecture me about that post. Char. Ii still remember his nickname I gave, Mammoth. HAHAHA.Though I am still bitter about our last fieldtrip not being as unique as it was from the previous years. Char. Feeling ko kasi noon tinipid yung batch namin. Char.
  • That Crazy Little Thing Called Love Thai Movie craze we had. I mean watching it for I don't know how many times. Minsan sa classroom pa namin haha! 
  • And when I'm really using my skills to earn some money. Honestly, I have no idea how I started this but at some point, I'm just doing someone's project/homework (mostly book reports and that crafty thingy) then they will pay me. Ngayon ko lang narealize na ang dami kong time gumawa ng project ng iba kklk! Sadly, may ibang di pa nakakabayad, haha (found one of my FB status calling a classmate about that HAHAHA shet).
Fruit of my labor: the dress I bought in Jewels 

  • And also, who wouldn't forget about the craziness we did on the latter part of our senior year? Especially that time we should be practicing for our graduation, or doing some reflection.
Eyyy. We did this even before Harlem Shake was a thing. Eyyy.

College Years (2011-2015)
Almost half of the decade was spent in my college years, and in those years, maraming ganap na di ko malilimutan, college related man or personal. Hehe.
  • Reconnected with an ex. Hahaha. Unang una talaga e no pero kasiii... It happened on my first year in college kasi!!! The thing is.. we didn't really uhm, nagkabalikan. We just met again, some interaction but that's it. This was memorable for me because it was at that time I realized I should really move on from what we had before. Ika nga, "there are plenty more fish in the sea." CHAROT hehe
  • My mother was back from abroad! Honestly, there was some kind of adjustment from me but it's not the same adjustment I did when Daddy went home (mas mahirap na adjustment yun which honestly, hindi ko magawa even until he left us).
  • My lola died during this time. :(
  • But then, Bhobbie and Bullette came, and they were wonderful addition to the family.
  • I won't forget my third year of being a Pharmacy student. Luh the major subjects. Coffee became my bestfriend. Wews.
  • That was also the time I became active in doing some extracurricular activities, aka being an officer. I enjoyed those times and appreciated the experience of being an officer despite the stress it gave me.
  • Also, for some reason, my faith with the Lord was tested? renewed? changed? more aware? It's kind of ironic because I went to a Catholic school from nursery to highschool but it was only at this stage when I truly appreciated God and for some reason, more aware of Him. Dahil hirap nung college? Impluwensya ng mga Christian kong friends? I don't know. But I'm thankful.
  • It was at this time nung nagpeak yung interest ko sa korean dramas. Maybe because I'm really stressed with school works so I need to watch at least one episode per day kahit may quiz kinabukasan HAHA.
  • This was also the time I got to be more aware of my feelings or how my mind works. Siguro dahil sa kakaoverthink kaya ganon. (See my Tumblr blog esp my posts in the years 2013-2015). I mean, mas may kontrol compared nung high school.
  • The crushes, and the almosts. Syempre ganon talaga hindi meant ehh hehe. But they're part of the reason why I matured. Ganun ata talaga pag nahaheart broken ganon, tumitibay. Charooot Haha. Pero ayun na nga, mga naging inspiration kong pumasok noon pero eventually nag expire din kasi Tadhana said na hindi pa muna. I'm not ready pa raw chor.
  • I'll add to this part of my life when I successfully graduated, and passed the Pharmacy Licensure Exam (despite the slight depression). 
Work Life (2015 to Present)
  • I chose to be in the manufacturing field of the Pharmacy industry because I'm not really good in the community or even in hospitals. Tsaka may holidays kasi sa manuf HAHAHA
  • From being a contractual to being one of the employees laid off to my current work for almost 4 years. Honestly, I'm still not sure if I'm taking the right path, I'm just going wherever this may go. I mean, if there's an opportunity to grow, I'm just gonna take it. 
  • Also, during my first year of working,  naging avid fan ako ng AlDub. KALOKA hahaha! I even went to their Tamang Panahon held in the Philippine Arena (well, malapit kasi samin that's the first reason hahaha).
  • This was also the time I met some of my precious friends (of course aside from my friends in college). My fauwks (who I met through our shared interest with Song Joongki/AlDub/even kpop! Hihi), bajao friends (friends I've worked with in my first job hihi) and team ppg (in my current job though ako n alang yung natira hahaha nagsilayasan na sila sa company e char)
  • And siguro dahil may pangtustos na ako sa sarili ko kaya I got to have a chance to explore the world outside my comfort zone with all these galas with my friends and family. I could buy the things na gusto ko. Yung makapanuod sa sinehan. those impulsive purchases na minsan pagsisisihan hehe.
Love Life through the Decade
 Well yes mga friends, kasama to sa highlights. Hahaha. I started the decade as a single lady back in high school. And I ended the decade with a boyfriend woot. As in legit. Hindi patago. Legal. Hihi. LDR kami ngayon because he's currently in Japan working. I know it'll be tough but I'm praying for the both of us na kayanin. I know kakayanin namin. Tiwala lang talaga <3 
How we spent the new year. From Japan and the Philippines, Happy New Year <3

Me through the Decade
I always believed that change is the only constant thing in this world. Despite believing in it, I'm scared for the changes that is happening. Most of the time, I can't bring myself to be ready for them. Well, I pretend to be (Fake it till you make it, applies here naman?) pero I'm scared. But you know, kailan nga ba tayo magiging ready kundi ngayon diba? Char.

I'm still growing as a person (well not literally haha). My beliefs and views in life may change as time goes by, but I will always be the same girl who likes to spend time scrolling through my feeds, playing with my dog, dreaming of the future with the bf, watching Kdramas/movies and still overthinking everything around her.

So now, I'll be entering the new decade like everyone else. I only wish for this year to be fruitful and memorable. I'll be focusing more on myself and the things I want to achieve.

Happy New Year everyone! May God bless us all.

Love lang hihi,
From Me to Yours, I'm wishing and praying for a prosperous year to all of us. Happy New Year! <3

From Me to You